Dummycrat Victory is No Good

Well, the Dummycrats won the House and the Dummycrats won the Senate. I call them Dummycrats for two reasons -- one, because they're dumb, and two, because they're dummies. Nobody knows yet what the full consequences of this will be, but I think the end of the world is a safe guess. President Bush has been adamant about fighting the terrorists over there, but that's all over now. Now we have to fight the terrorists on Capitol Hill, which of course is a well-known hill in Washington, which of course is the Capitol. The Dummycrats have even elected a Muslim to the House of Representatives. My advice to the Capitol police: That thing in his pocket ain't for cutting boxes, if you know what I mean.

The Dummycrat victory is bad news for America, but it is good news for some, including:

1. Lazy people on welfare.
2. Fairyboys.
3. Spotted owls.
4. Osama Hussein.
5. Hitler.

It's also good news for the liberal media, especially the New York Slimes. That's what I call the New York Times, because they're slimy, if you know what I mean. The Slimes didn't endorse a single American candidate this year. (American is my word for Republican, because that's what Republicans are -- Americans. Dummycrats are French, which is my word for French people.)

Fancy Pelosi is going to be the Speaker of the House, so look for a sharp increase in homosexuality nationwide. Basically, Fancy Pelosi will try to turn the whole country into Man Francisco, a well-known town in Californicate, where men have sex with men, and if one of them accidentally has sex with a woman, they eat the baby.

Shame on Republicans for not turning out in record numbers to prevent this disaster from taking place, if you know what I mean. And it hurts me to say this, but shame on President Bush for saying he would work with the Dummycrats. You can't work with them, Mr. President. That would be like working with the opposition. It's so unfortunate that President Bush has suddenly lost his spine -- that's what I call the backbone. And it's quadruply unfortunate that he let Donald Rumsfeld resign as soon as the Dummycrats won. Without Rumsfeld in charge, I'm afraid that the situation in Iraq will become disorganized, ineffective, maybe even dangerous.

It's a dark time for America, my fellow Americans, but if by some miracle the country is still here in two years, we have a chance to put things right, if you know what I mean. As far as I'm concerned, there's only one thing that can save us: JEB BUSH FOR PRESIDENT! Yes, it's a dark time for our white country. But rest assured that a voice of right-wing reason will be there to comfort you every step of the way. And that voice is the Voice of Piss.