Indulge me, my fellow Americans. I really shouldn't be writing about personal things when there are so many BIG ISSUES going on, like the WONDERFUL decision of the Texas school board to teach our children the TRUTH about history, and the TERRIBLE government takeover of our freedom which the Dummycrats are trying to RAM DOWN OUR THROATS UNTIL WE CHOKE ON HAMMERS AND SICKLES!
But unfortunately, Dr. Piss has to tend to a very sick patient.
For those of you who do not know -- and I would not blame you for not knowing, because nobody cares -- "Noah Diamond" (if that is his real name) is a TERRIBLE liberal Communist who for some sad reason has been absolutely OBSESSED with Ralph Piss for years. I went to see one of his plays a long time ago, just to see how bad it was (and it was VERY BAD), and he was SUCH A JERK. Then he had his little "girlfriend" (OBVIOUSLY THEY ARE BOTH GAY HOMOSEXUALS AND THEIR "RELATIONSHIP" IS A FRONT) hit me with her shoe. That's the way they are, she has all the muscle. Anyway, since that awful night, Diamond WILL NOT LEAVE ME ALONE and takes every opportunity, in his blog, and in his stupid videos, to attack and degrade Ralph Piss. For an example of how unreasonable and crazy he is, read THESE COMMENTS left on this very blog recently.
Well, one night not very long ago, I was sitting at home cleaning my gun -- it's an 82 -- when the phone rang. Thinking it was Sarah Palin, I answered. But it was Noah Diamond. I immediately PUKED, so to speak!
"Why are you bothering Ralph Piss?" I demanded.
"Listen, Ralph," he said, in his pathetic liberal voice, "I've been thinking lately that I've been very unfair to you and actually everything you say is right."
"I don't accept your apology," I said.
"I understand. I wouldn't accept my apology either if I were you, because I'm such a STUPID DUMMYCRAT LEFTY!"
"Right," I said.
"But wait, please, Ralph," he whimpered. "Please don't hang up, Ralph, please. There's more. I want to say this: My name is Noah Diamond, and I am NOT VERY SMART! I don't know anything about politics, and my comedy plays are NOT FUNNY! I would not mind being such a TALENTLESS SOCIALIST if it weren't for the example set by RALPH PISS!!! Now THERE is a true artist and a great patriot who does hilarious comedy and LOVES HIS COUNTRY'S FREEDOM! If only I could be more like RALPH PISS, then I wouldn't be such a stupid liberal!!! I have no taste!!! And that is why my website is so stupid."
"Do you mind if I quote you in full on my website?"
"Not at all, Ralph. I'd be honored."
SO I DID. Not only did I post it here on this blog here, I also decided to create a special new website to showcase Diamond's words, and also to point out a few of the differences between him and me! (It's GREAT! CHECK IT OUT!) Well, next thing you know, he's ALL MAD AT RALPH PISS! He's been leaving comments everywhere claiming that he never said what HE KNOWS HE SAID TO ME ON THE PHONE THAT TIME, and even demanding that I remove it! As if I care what he says! As if he can make me do anything!!! He even wrote a whole stupid post on his blog, LYING about the whole thing and once again saying nasty and not true things about Ralph Piss.
I think this guy is REALLY UNSTABLE. Well, you HAVE to be unstable to be a liberal. Which reminds me of a joke: What did the psychologist say to the liberal? "I can't do anything for you -- you're insane!"
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