Well, my fellow Americans, it feels like the Dummycrats seized control of our Congress no more than nine days ago. And yet it is already clear that our once-great republic is trending toward Satan. As you may know, Satan often travels to our world in disguise, sometimes as a seemingly kind old man in a robe, sometimes as a senator-elect from Missouri. Claire McCaskill -- and this is nerve -- actually thanked Rush Limbaugh for helping to get her elected! Obviously, this is like thanking Jesus for Columbine. It's put me in such a foul mood that nothing could cheer me up except for the hilarious right-wing jokes I posted earlier this week.
The problem with the Dummycrats (that's what I call Democrats) is that they just don't understand that some things are sacred. To make the point clearly -- and to tide you over while you wait eagerly for the premiere of my Internet radio show, Ralph Piss: Piss On America (coming soon!) -- I've recorded some of my thoughts on the matter. Listen to Ralph Piss: Some Things Are Sacred to get the skinny on our national anthem, Francis Scott Key, and when human life really begins. (I'll give you a hint: I don't buy into the Conception Compromise.)
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